April Fools
by Ciega Chica
Summary: Someone is playing pranks on Voldie but who could it be? And where is his husband? Who destroyed his beautiful garden? Find out! LV/HP, SB/RL


Hello everyone!! Ciega Chica's got a wonderful surprise for you!! XD Because all of you were such good boys and girls for sending me so many reviews on Aeolus you guys get this smexy oneshot I wrote a year ago. I decided last night after reading review after review to put it up for April 1st (the date it takes place on) for your enjoyment while I write the next installation of Aeolus!!!! YAAAAAAAY!!!!! (I wuv exclamation points X3)

WARNING: This story has EXPLICIT material at the end!!! Not for those of you under 18 (unless you're all perverts then that's okay ;D) Perverts UNITE!!!

Ships: LV/HP, SB/RL

Summary: Someone is playing pranks on Voldie but who could it be? And where is his husband? Who destroyed his beautiful garden???? Find out!! LV/HP, SB/RL

April Fools

Tom Riddle, AKA Lord Voldemort, was furious! He'd started the day by waking up to an empty bed, the right side cold with his husband's absence. Then he'd gone to breakfast hoping to at least sip a calming glass of that new imported wine he'd bought just recently not expecting that to go to hell as well.

He should have known not to drink it with the house elf Mippy having a guilty, worried look on her bulbous face. It should have warned him but Tom was distracted thinking about where his young green-eyed husband could be.

Mippy gulped as she watched her Master take a sip with closed eyes. Tom readied himself for an euphoric taste but ended up spitting it out as it hit his tongue.

"What the hell was that!?" he spluttered. He whirled on Mippy who squeaked and quickly apparated away.

Tom glared at the air and wiped his chin free of the spittle running there. He growled and took a quick taste of the "wine" again. It was most certainly not wine and with a second taste he immediately realized what it was.

Blood.

Why would Mippy serve him blood? He treated the house elf well, gave her clothes and food, so what the hell brought this act of rebellion on?!

Suddenly empty of appetite Tom left the table and headed towards the audience chamber. As he neared, a loud murmur reached his ears from behind the doors. He hadn't called his Death Eaters yet so why were they here already?

Throwing open the doors he roared "What is going on in here..." he trailed away in shock and horror.

His Death Eaters stood in a huddle arguing amongst themselves. But as soon as their Lord entered they rushed to him each shouting to be heard above the rest.

Tom was too shocked by their appearances to silence them with multiple Crucios. His Death Eater's robes were bright pink edged with orange stripes and a different large blossoming flower on each back. Their hairs were all different colors. He snorted when he saw Lucius's usually pristine blonde hair in a jumbled mess, like he'd just gotten out of bed, sparkling a cheery blue that reminded him a lot of Albus Dumbledore's damn twinkling blue eyes. At least Lucius's eyes matched with his hair. Gray and blue were a very striking match.

Annoyed by their incessant pleas for help Tom decided to just let them suffer. Besides it was kind of amusing watching their clothing and hair shimmer like a moving rainbow across the floor. Tom inwardly snickered; on the outside he merely looked bored.

Hidden behind the heavy wood door standing partially open someone had no such qualms and snickered all he wanted to. He'd give Tom a reprieve and then come in for the kill later. He couldn't wait to give Tom his super terrific surprise. Giggling he headed off to do who-knows-what kind of horrible deed next.

HPLV

Tom spent the afternoon going over reports and planning his next strategy. He was glad nothing had happened...yet. And he still couldn't find his husband!

He's probably just rolling around in the dirt somewhere with his godfather and mutt mate he tried to reassure himself.

He worked until five and then headed outside to find his wayward spouse. Unfortunately he met his next surprise. Tom loved the garden he kept well fed and watered surrounding his estate. Beautiful and aromatic local and exotic flowers were arranged in patterns that soothed him as he walked amongst them on garden paths. Tall trees shaded these as the converging walkways wound all around the gardens.

Today's view was not so soothing.

Devil's Snare, Mandrake, Sweet Lullaby, Dark Lilac, and Gypsy's skirt (A/N: some of these are made up. I'm pretending they're some sort of Wizard's plant that's really ugly) now overcrowded and darkened the lawn with twisted roots and stems. Thorns bristled choking the life out of the bent, wilted trees along his favorite path. The soil looked parched and dull, the tree's leaves gray and lifeless, and it all looked so desolate and barren that Tom wanted to scream.

He did.

He screamed and screamed and screamed. He was beyond furious now! He wanted to strangle and torture someone so bad he thought he'd choke with the need of it.

For a moment the green eyes that peered from beneath a sweeping Gypsy's skirt flickered with guilt. He didn't want to upset Tom this much but...it was the man's own fault he didn't realize what holiday it was.

Harry, because that's who it was, smirked. He knew Tom would love his consolation gift so he shouldn't feel bad. Besides it was only an illusion plaguing the garden.

HPLV

After that Tom stormed to his room and slammed the door shut. He was shaking with rage and shouted at Mippy why he didn't want dinner for a whole ten minutes before he realized she wasn't even there anymore.

Shutting his crimson eyes he massaged his forehead tiredly. He shed his clothing and headed to the bath. The bathroom was more like an indoor pool with a white tiled floor and sea-green tiled walls. In an alcove to his left was a toilet and a sink.

Tom slid into the jacuzzi off the side and breathed a sigh of relief. He spent about thirty minutes in there then he dived into the pool. It was warm from a constant heating charm.

He swam and generally relaxed for two hours. The clock was ticking slowly towards eight o'clock by the time he got out, dried off, and dressed in soft pajamas.

His bedroom was dark and silent. He immediately noticed it. Worry writhed in his belly. Where was Harry? Why had he not seen him all day? The worry climbed up to clench his heart. He couldn't have been kidnapped right?

Only four months had passed since Harry had left the Light side to join his husband on the Dark Side so it could be possible the Light side had captured him while he wasn't looking. They thought he'd kidnapped Harry and were still relentless trying to snatch him back not quite realizing it had been by Harry's own volition.

Tom grimaced and glanced longingly at his bed's black velvet covers. It seemed he couldn't rest yet...but he had to find his husband! Yet, as he opened the door to leave he heard a soft rustle behind him. Frowning, he turned back around and shut the door. It was highly unlikely it was anyone dangerous since the wards only allowed him and Harry into these rooms. He stalked towards the bed. He wouldn't let his guard down until he was sure...

Tom jerked the curtains back...and promptly began drooling.

It was Harry alright and he was lying flat on his stomach completely naked with his slim legs swinging back and forth in the air. His smooth black hair, that swept down to his lower back, hung around him like a second curtain shielding his face. A large bowl of melted chocolate sat innocently beside him.

Tom was instantly, achingly hard.

The green eyes noticed him and the boy laughed at his predicament. Tom was obviously trying to restrain himself. Harry pouted his full pink lips.

"Come and get your reward Tom." Said man gulped at the sultry whisper. His husband's golden skin seemed to glow in the dark room, looking so damn appetizing Tom couldn't resist any longer.

He climbed onto the bed. Harry watched him hungrily. A grin flashed across his face, showing perfect white teeth, when his butt was grabbed by a strong hand.

"Like what you see Tom?" he purred.

Tom's breath caught in his throat. Then his mind snapped back into working order. He practically tore off his clothing not caring if it was ripped or not. Then he tackled Harry who squealed in delight. Tom bit him roughly then licked away the blood then bit down again forming a trail of burning red hickeys all over his body.

Harry groaned loudly as their erections rubbed each other. The want to have it inside him was almost unbearable.

"Tom, please, I need you!" he cried before he could stop himself.

He knew as soon as he'd said it though that he was in for a rough night. Tom's smirk gave him the willies sometimes. Maybe he had pushed him too hard today. He watched quietly as Tom dipped his mouth into the chocolate then swallowed him whole. Harry screamed. Tom moaned from the feeling of the chocolate slicking the sides of Harry's shaft. The vibrations drove Harry to insanity. Tom moved faster, up and down, sucking and licking, and Harry came explosively. Tom drank the mixture of semen and chocolate as if it were the sweetest ambrosia. Harry panted and his eyes rolled.

Tom kissed him gently already moving onto the next course. He spread chocolate on Harry's torso, broke the kiss, and began to slowly and methodically lick all of it off. He had to hold Harry down by his hips when the boy tried to buck. Then eying his nipples he started to tug and bite them then he swirled his tongue around the stiff nubs. Harry yelped softly, his eyes dilated with pleasure.

"Do you see this Harry?" Harry forced his eyes open and gulped. Tom had coated his dick with chocolate while Harry's eyes were closed and was now presenting it to him like a chocolate bar. Harry moaned so loud he was sure everyone in the manor heard him.

Tom smirked. "Do you want it Harry?" Harry nodded not taking his eyes off Tom's dick.

Harry pushed himself up enough to slip his tongue out and lick Tom's head.

"Mmmmm"

Harry sat up further taking the whole head into his hot mouth licking the chocolate off and humming occasionally. When he finally swallowed Tom whole said man almost screamed with the sudden explosion of sensation but it was much easier for him to keep silent than Harry. He had handled other sensations, mostly pain, more intense than this. But then Harry began swiftly attacking him with his mouth, sliding in and out of his tight throat and scraping his teeth along Tom's pulsing member until he came hard.

Harry laughed inwardly as Tom fought to stay quiet. Delighting in the now sweet taste of Tom's semen due to the chocolate Harry swallowed every last drop.

"Yum" he sighed laying back down.

Tom chuckled and pulled him up into his arms. He shifted slightly, the bed creaked, and then Harry found himself laying on his back again. Tom prowled a little ways away like a hunting cat before he pounced.

"We're not done yet love" he growled.

Pinning the boy by his wrists on either side of his head Tom pulled back and sharply thrust in with deadly precision. Harry screamed. Tom rarely ever paused to use lubrication in the heat of the moment so he really shouldn't have expected the kindness but he hadn't really been prepared for such a hard thrust either.

Gasping and moaning Harry bucked against Tom's restraining hands trying to close a gap between their skin that didn't exist. Their flesh felt on fire as Tom slapped against him. Finally Tom let go of Harry's hands and immediately the boy hugged him closer scrabbling for purchase against Tom's sweaty back carving bloody furrows there.

Harry cried out again as he came, his canal tightening and squeezing the semen from Tom's erection in a painful orgasm.

For awhile they lay there gasping for breath as they came down from their high. Tom wrapped his arms around Harry pulling him close and Harry wiggled beneath the sheets trying to get comfortable.

Eventually they lay content and for awhile they lay in the dark listening to each other's heart beats. Harry was surprised when Tom spoke. He had thought he was asleep by now.

"So why did I merit a reward?" Tom asked nonchalantly.

"Um........well, y'know cuz you're such a great husband y'know" Harry grinned nervously.

"Oh?" Tom raised an elegant eyebrow. "So you wouldn't know who replaced my wine with blood, jinxed my Death Eaters, and destroyed the beauty of my garden?"

Harry noted that Tom's voice lowered dangerously on the word "garden". He knew he shouldn't have messed with it but his inner Sirius had cheered him on and convinced him eventually.

"Of course not, I was out with Remus and Sirius and we--"

"That mutt! I knew it! You allowed him to do that to my garden!?" he asked incredulously.

Harry glared. "My _godfather_ is not a mutt and besides it's only one day of the year where I'm allowed to—within reason—prank you when normally I would never--"

"Wait, 'allowed'? What do you mean by that?" Tom's eyes narrowed. Harry looked surprised.

"You mean you seriously didn't know what today was?"

"No"

Harry snickered. "No wonder you were so angry then."

"Just tell me Harry."

Harry shrugged and sat up then said in a sing-song voice "April Fooools."

Tom blinked then glanced towards the wall where a muggle calendar hung courtesy of Harry. In bold letters it declared that the month was indeed April and today, Thursday, was apparently the first.

"Oh"

Harry snorted. "Is that all you can say?"

Tom's crimson eyes glared at his husband. "No..." He suddenly pulled out of Harry and positioned himself on top. Harry winced when he pulled out then looked up at him in confusion then disbelief. "You can't seriously be ready to go again?"

Tom smirked. "Were you seriously hoping that I would just forget what you did to me after a little sex?"

Harry gulped. He had been hoping just that but Tom always seemed to know what he was planning. And his bad feeling was increasing with that smirk back on his face.

Tom jerked the blankets away. He roughly turned a protesting Harry onto his stomach, a strong hand gripping the back of his neck to hold him down.

Tom grabbed his limp dick and began to pump it furiously. His hips thrust forward rutting against the crack of Harry's butt. He restrained his moans. He wanted to punish Harry and he couldn't allow the boy to see him aroused romantically.

Growling low he covered the somewhat frightened boy with his own body and like a humping dog he thrust into the boy gaining an agonized scream as his canal tore and the earlier ravaged skin began to bleed again. Tom brutally thrust in. Even though Harry was screaming he knew the boy was enjoying it deep down. Harry loved rough sex and Tom was definitely the best at it. He loved to dominate and show Harry who he belonged to.

Tom grabbed Harry's long black hair wrenching his head back and bit the skin where his neck and shoulder joined.

Through the moans Tom heard the door open with a click. He looked to his left and scowled when he saw Black casually leaning against the bed post, a grin stretching his face. The man had absolutely no shame invading their privacy like this. Remus leaned against the wall—he was never too far away from his mate—looking at the couple on the bed uncomfortably.

Not once did Tom pause in thrusting.

"So your plan worked?" he asked eying their nudity with a gleam in his eye. He turned to Remus and the wolf shivered at the look.

"I-I think s-so" Harry choked out through his moans.

Tom could feel his orgasm approaching so he picked up the pace even faster despite it being quite fast before; now it was furious. Harry sobbed and clutched the sheets trying to somehow keep a hold on his sanity. It was safe to say he definitely wouldn't be able to walk in the morning.

Harry's godfather just watched interested. He looked as if he were memorizing the scene to use later, most likely on Remus who was beginning to look _really_ nervous. It seemed he could sense what Sirius was thinking too.

At last Tom came breathing hard like he had just finished a marathon first place. Cum dribbled from Harry's bloody hole since he had come twice inside it and it couldn't contain it all.

Tom slipped off the bed wobbling a little definitely in need of a bath but first... "Next time would you mind knocking first?" he sneered at Black.

Black shrugged. "Can't guarantee it if you guys ever do _that_ again. I just wanted to see how you two were coping after such a _hard_ day. I thought you'd be done by now" he replied cheerily, completely ignoring his innuendo and the fact that he had an angry Dark Lord glaring at him.

"Hmph, I should probably do something nasty to you too since you saw fit to give the idea of destroying my poor garden to Harry."

"Actually...that was all Harry." On the bed Harry froze. _Oh shit_. "_I_ came up with the blood and the jinx on the Death Eaters. You know you might want to consider a permanent change in your follower's clothing. Black is _so_ last year and maybe you should all dye your hair too. Malfoy looks absolutely smashing with blue hair!" he babbled.

Tom ignored his rambling; he was just stuck on the fact that HIS Harry had thought of destroying his garden. Ooooh, he was so dead now. He glared at Harry who quailed under his stare. If this was the last time he thought Tom would punish him then think again. The destruction of his garden deserves a much heavier fine. A whole weeks worth of humiliation for Harry should do nicely.

Smirking he scooped the exhausted boy up and slipped into the bathroom only pausing briefly to force Sirius and Remus form his rooms with a quick spell. Sirius grumbled but finally disappeared to his own rooms—no doubt to try some new ideas on his sexy Remy.

In the bath Tom gently washed his love's hair and body but didn't go any further than that. Tomorrow was whole new day to punish Harry.

After a quick cleaning spell on the bed Tom gently placed Harry in bed and lay down beside him. With his arms around Harry's waist Tom was close enough to hear Harry mumble in his sleep.

"April Fools love."


End file.
